I recieved a bouquet of tulips today, and a box of chocolates. It's too bad flowers and candy can't cure the feeling of heartbreak. There's no note or name or anything on the tulips. Today is sort of bizzare,
Two hours later:
I feel like my heart is breaking. It's the same sort of pain and hurt that has not a whole lot to do with anger or blame, just regret and sadness for things changing.
I also feel like my face and ears are on fire; The fire of victory. The fire and burn of oil and gold and natural gas. Rather, I took 6-7 residents sledding at the station building. And, lo, was it glorious. I used the same sled I made freshman year once I learned to use the impulse sealer. A new set of freshmen using an old sled. My residents bring out the proud mama in me (even though I know they are not kids, babies, children), and I know they'll be just fine as they finish off the year. It'll be a little different, and there will be some changes, but they will be for the better, really. Everything still feels so bizarre and I feel like I may be in a perpetual state of shock still, but things are starting to sink in a little. Everyone's being really supportive, and that means a lot to me. They're adults, they will be fine, and I'm going to re-learn caring about myself.
I'm thankful for all the people who care about me and all the people I have cared for, and the experience I've gained. Just wish I hadn't learned things the hard way.