Sleepless nights

I tossed and turned. Shuttered the blinds, throw the curtains closed. Maybe it was the kona blend coffee I drank while watching Employee of the Month with W. Every crumb and particle that sandwiched between my skin and the sheets was a pea under my mattress, rendering it impossible for me to sleep. I brushed away the detritus, made and re-made my bed, tried to reach some sort of equilibrium of temperature where my nose was cool but not cold and my body was warm but not quite beginning to sweat. I went to bed at 11:40. At midnight I was up. I woke up and puttered around for a few minutes around two, when I finally unplugged my night-light. I covered the ambient blue light shining from the spine of my laptop. I wrote, re-wrote, deleted text messages, unsent, to lots of different people. From experience, I know late-night text-messaging is a risky business. At 8 o'clock, I was up. By half past I was waiting at the desk of the Commons for my New York Times to come so I could read Modern Love, maybe walk to City Cafe and get some coffee. As the paper arrived, he and I crossed paths. Twice, since I realized I needed more appropriate footwear for the grungy, icy walk to the supermarket. Today I'm making Magnolia cupcakes with my friend, I splurged on organic butter, eggs, and sugar. I have never made cupcakes from scratch. Instead of going to the cafe, I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and a french cruller doughnut on the way to Safeway. I vaccilate between my head being cold and enjoying the breeze tracing paths across my shorn head and neck. And now I'm back in PJ's, avoiding the winter fund drive and guilt that comes along with it on WYPR, listening to Pandora, contemplating the days ahead. And, G-d, is there a lot to be contemplated.