Another week of Vedawoo, WY

I spent this past week with my co from the past 10-day camp, Olga/Angie, and am really sad that we won't be spending any more camps together this summer. Olga is really opinionated, and I really like that because so many co's I've had are completely ambivalent about almost everything (other than when they'd like their 2 hours off, please). That being said, there's nobody I'd rather have spent an hour in a van with at 1:40 AM during a torrential lightning storm. So we did two different climbs in Vedawoo, WY, on two different days, and unlike the last time all of our girls had a ton of water with them, so it was pretty fantastic all around. I did a 5.7 crack climb and a 5.4 blindfolded, and to round out my week, yesterday, on my day off, Olga and I went to the local rock climbing gym. Why, yes, I am pretty much in love (with climbing, not Olga). The next three weeks, I have trips every week, and we will be rock climbing, kayaking, and whitewater rafting with each group of girls. If my parents' cannot make reservations for the dates they want to go camping at Big Sur (after camp), I'm going to get my Wilderness First Responder training, since not only is that a great idea in terms of summer camp tripping jobs, but it's also probably a Really Good Thing rock-climbing-wise. Do not pass SoCal, do not collect time with the fam-style (training is from 7th to the 15th of August, right before dorms open, so it'll be straight to Baltimore for me). This has been a really fantastic break from the ordinary for me this summer, and I'm really enjoying the outdoors, but I cannot help but say that I am worried for when the school year comes back around. After all, my art is about the domestic and the fraught nature of being a woman in the kitchen, not about rock climbing and whitewater rafting and all that. I guess what I'd really love from you all at this point is references to some artists to look at. Also, I'm reading the history of conceptual art. Yes, finally.

Another trip to Vedauwoo, WY

As expected, I got the Junior rock-climbing camp, so tomorrow, in the bright morning, we will be leaving for Vedauwoo, WY, that magical place, to get close to nature through becoming one with the rock. Also, I will be breaking in the new rock-climbing shoes. Weather's lovely here, hope it holds out in Wyoming, can't imagine a drive prettier than the one I did a couple weeks ago.

Love the rock

Since I am probably doing the rock-climbing trips this week, I caved at Jax (the absolute most seductive and all-encompassing outdoor store I've ever been to) here in Ft. Collins and bought these Mammut rock climbing shoes. I'm slowly investing in my outdoor equipment, right now I'm borrowing a lot but I'm getting more Nalgene's, got hiking socks and liners which have proved invaluable, and basically I'm trying to get enough gear together that when I no longer work at camps, or my sister needs her gear back, I can continue to pursue outdoor sport on my own. As far as I can tell, I may very well need to get outdoors and be physical and do hiking to balance out a professional reslife career, which can become very sedentary. Also, in thinking about graduate schools for student affairs, top choices include University of Maryland - College Park and University of Colorado at Boulder. I'd love to be out here in Colorado, but there are a lot of things that I feel tuggin' at my heartstrings to keep me back east. So, I'm thinking about getting full climbing gear, but until I get a car or have a reliable group of friends who will go with me, there's not a huge point at this time. Can I also say that I have seen infant-size Teva mocs, and, lo, they are adorable.

Sometimes I find G-d out-of-doors, when I'm not looking for Him at all.

Colorado is beautiful and wild. If I were a pioneer girl (a fantasy harbored as a child by reading loads of Mary Ingalls Wilder Little House books that I continue to have today), I don't think I'd have made it all the way to California or Oregon, because every state I passed through, I'd be sure nothing come upon further down the dusty trail could be better. In leaving the "big city" of Baltimore, I now find myself past Illinois and Kansas, venturing once in a while down to the plains of Colorado, but living in the Rockies where Henry David and his family once settled on the same property camp is on. Indeed, that homestead, where the David (Davis?) family spent more than a few rough years far from civilization, electricity, and indoor plumbing still stands, is used at camp. Sure, there's a chicken coop in the bathroom, and the kitchen's not much to look at, and nothing, nothing is flush or level, but sturdily it stands. That being said, one of the most beautiful experiences, aside from hiking and viewing Mount Meeker, Meadow Mountain, and Long's Peak from 8,000+ feet, was my drive to Vedawoo, Wyoming, where we spent time on the open range where free-range cattle graze on the rolling prarie. G-d's land, they call it, some people. And how can you not see where wind, water, erosion took place to shape and mold the stone in unfathomable ways? I guess I'm remembering it sort of romantically, but I do miss it. Hopefully I get to do a camp with rock climbing this week, keep your fingers and toes crossed!

Give me a break.

I'm spending this break with a friend from Fort Collins from camp, and thus far her house is so much like mine and I feel so at home that being here is a real luxury. I'm catching up on sleep and junk food, showering almost daily with glorious water pressure, got some conceptual art theory books from the library (none of the books I looked up were in the system, which was a bummer.) Finished Shopgirl by Steve Martin, which was a little too wan and ironic for me, but enjoyable nonetheless (I wonder if the movie is any worse?). It's amazing how wonderful telephone reception and internet is. Also the ability to eat when I want. I got a hydration bladder for less than $10 at WalMart which adds another 2 litres carrying capacity for hikes, which is really really neccessary. I did laundry, and am washing my sisters' sleeping bag, got to do a little ironing too, which is always a pleasure. Hope for next week is that I get Girls ROCK! camp, which is all Girl Scout Juniors, 9 through eleven, and will include an awful lot of rock climbing and hiking , and will be a less gruesome 6 day camp, as opposed to ten days. Now if you excuse me, I've got books to read and feet to put up.

Time Traveler's Wife reminds me of John Titor. That is all.

All that I can say is that I am in dire need of this coming Tuesday night through Sunday morning off. I had a 10-day camp, and while I loved getting to know the girls, from scheduling to ratio to injuries up the wazoo, I can’t imagine a camp going worse. On the optimistic side (and despite a tendency towards bitterness and frustration at times, I do have one), I finished The Time Travelers’ Wife and figure that the next camp, whatever it may be, can’t go a whole lot worse. And I know at some point I’ve got to stop trying to shift blame or be defensive, but it’s not like I didn’t show the Asst. Director my schedule. It’s not like she couldn’t have seen the gaping holes in coverage during the weekend that there would be VERY limited staffing to fill. When your girls are starting to know that you need a break, and have showered more recently than you, that is when it really hits you: you are an inefficient, poorly-planning leader in the workplace, and your 9 to 11 year olds can see it. One other thing I learned about this age group is they hate not knowing the scheduling, the plan, what we’re doing, when we’re doing that, what goes after, etc. There were times that I was driven pretty darn crazy by the incessant questions, which is when you start making up games like you have to ask every other camper and only then can you ask a counselor, or say “it’s a surprise” “we’ll do that when we finish this” etc. What positive things can I say about the past week? My girls are amazing troopers, brave, repairable, patient, caring, kind, intelligent, clever, and funny. The coolest part about this summer is that I’ll literally have had dozens of girls by the end of it. And while I am not the most experienced, most patient, wackiest camp counselor, I am needed here, if only as a warm-body over-18 “child-care provider.” Last night we slept under the stars where the first girl scouts slept on the property here back in 1960 (Pan, who was one of those cadettes who camped in 1960, still helps out every Wednesday). Finishing books is always bittersweet. Last night we slept under the stars where the first girl scouts slept on the property here back in 1960 (Pan, who was one of those cadettes who camped in 1960, still helps out every Wednesday). The moon was full, and despite a little cloud cover, there were more stars out there than you can –ever- see in Baltimore. You know that one scene in Joe Versus the Volcano (Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks first rom-com together), where they’re on the trunk-raft, and the moon rises over the sea, and it looks like a dinner plate six inches from Joe’s face? It was like that. So, as I cried over the end of the happy parts of the book simultaneous to the beginning of the teary ending, the moon loomed over the pine and aspen with seeming concern. The adventure of last week was getting library cards at Estes Park library, and now that I’ve finished The Time Travelers Wife I can start on Geek Love, Shopgirl, and the Wicked Son. Geek Love is a little oddball for me (“Geek” in this title refers to the circus performers that eat glass, live chickens, etc.). A couple of my campers offered to take me home for the three day vacation, where I could do amazing things like going to outdoor sporting goods stores, replacing the sunglasses I lost on a hike (third pair for the summer, $20), watch cable, wear flip-flops, etc. I also am really very grateful for this camp because my co-worker was an international staff member that I wasn’t sure about, and I am so so so glad to have worked with her, and hope I get to be with her a few more times this summer.

Five hours, two pair gloves, eight stitches later.

So, today at work I had two injuries [to my campers]. One was a minor fall, no bruising as of now, and the other was a fall-with-branch, wherein one of my Junior-age girl scouts got very cleanly puncture slash ripped in her knee. Blue (CIT director) and the CIT’s were nearby where we were playing this doomed game of camouflage, and I asked all the girls to go sit at the green cathedral (where we have scouts’ own ceremonies) while me and my co administered first aid. You could see fatty tissue, meaning it was a pretty serious wound, but no muscle or bone, so it was just a flesh wound. Anyway, I used the maxi pad in my bag, told my co to put on a glove and she held it there till I got a BZK wipe to wipe away blood, and any remaining foreign matter (of which there was none), wrapped gauze tape around the wound, taped it, put an Ace bandage on top for compression, and then walked her up to the Pill Box. There was a lot of blood, at first, but once pressure was applied, there was really no problem, and I knew that stitches and hospital trip would be a big deal, but I’m also sure I administered adequate and appropriate first aid (though at this point I am thinking just a Telfa pad, taped on, and compression bandage would have been more finessed. But, the care was right. Not to mention she fell really well on that stick, what with how clean it cut her. I feel bad because this was the second injury while playing camouflage in the area we played it in, and maybe I should have moved the girls, maybe we shouldn’t have been there. Maybe I overestimated the abilities of Juniors to not run with lots of dead wood around. Bygones, things in the past, just a flesh wound, etc. but I know it was pretty scary for my girls, for the nurse and camp director and my co-counselors’. At least it was nothing too serious. No bending the knee too much, she’s moving to a bottom bunk, and it may get sore, but 8 stitches later and we’re all okay. And a little more cautious for the experience. Really thankful for the WFA training though. I’m thinking about doing N Outdoor Leadership School or American Red Cross Wilderness First Responder, which is 10 days or so, but seems pretty sweet. Of course, what does WFR have to do with Residence Life and Student Affairs, I have no idea. Other than every employer loves ridiculous certifications.

Amazing are the little things.

So, this past week I had Cadettes, which is (I believe) 12-14 year old girls, and the first day we spent doing low ropes and initiatives (including the buzz-ring, which the girls were obsessed with by the end), archery, arts and crafts, and then we left for our trip to (surprise!) Vedavu, WY, which is open range AND climbing country. For the first time in my life, I slept out under the stars (G-d always seems closer when I'm out in nature), woke up to mooing, scrambled over boulders, ran out of water in a way that was scary, and went rafting on the Poutre in CO (all 3's and 4's). The friction climbing was amazing, the girls I worked with from Educo were lovely, and the drive from Allenspark, CO to Vedawoo, WY was goregous. Photos from the trip at some point.

Birthday Hike

Calypso Falls (2 days ago) Copeland Falls (today after Wild Basin) me at Copeland falls Copeland Falls Copeland falls I'm pretty bushed but I will say I had an amazing time allready today, on my birthday. Not sure whether I'm getting packages/mail or not today, as mail hasn't gone out from camp in a few days (always frustrating, but that's what we get from being tucked away so). Anyway, here's some photo documentation. Props go out to my mates Bly and Queenie who trekked it up and up and up and down and down and down with me, it was absolutely lovely. Now, I need a shower.

Tomorrow, Wild Basin.

Tuesday night was the end of the first three-day (which is about 48-hours) camp session, and it was INSANE trying to get all the girls able to do everything they wanted in every camp, every unit, every session. We still didn’t wash our dirty dishes through the sanitizer from our cook-out, so we’ve got to do that. Any way, the next five days I have off, and I am thrilled. It’s exciting because it’s for my birthday weekend, and I can just chillax, which is something also not really associated with being a trip leader, outdoor specialist, and unit leader. Another kicker was I’ve got three whole weeks with Buddy, my Aussie tabin-mate with a sunny disposition. Yesterday, my first full day off since this crazy Colorado experience began, I hiked with my friend Tumbleweed (I go by “Magpie,” in case you were wondering) about 6.1 miles. Our goal on the outset (after appropriately raiding the kitchen) was to climb Meadow Mountain, the mountain after which our camp is named, however when we got to the Allenspark trailhead, which begins Rocky Mountain National Park, we couldn’t find the trailhead to Meadow Mountain (we followed the border to the park, which would have taken us there, but it was too hard-going considering last Wednesdays winds and all the debris they caused.) Instead of hiking to the top of Meadow Mountain, which is an 11 (meaning 11,000 feet above sea level at the peak), we hiked 3.1 miles each way to Calypso Cascades and back, which was one beautiful journey, truly. I think it’s probably a mile or two up to the Allenspark trailhead from our back 40 acres, which we share with Rocky Mountain National Park, so in theory it’d be about 8 hours instead of 6, but you could do it straight from camp and you’d pass “Hercules,” a 15-foot-circumference Douglas fir. The hike was rough going at first, considering the asthma and altitude, but by the end it was smooth sailing, and I got the added bonus of getting to wear a tank top, shorts, and my Keens without socks. I also realize that I need to either replace the waist-clip on my Jansport backpack or get a new daypack, maybe even with a camelback. Have to deposit my paycheck first. So, as a staff we’ve been raiding the kitchen, doing a lot of sitting around watching movies, and keeping one another company in our scary, scary tabins. This morning I went riding, fell off slash got bounced off of a horse, and got right back on after a hard bounce to the rump. My thighs are killing me. But, as far as having an active and relaxing vacation on-camp for the next few days, I am well on my way. Stand by for photos, and the interweb at camp is dial-up. Sincerely, LindsayMagpie Also, don't forget to check my mobile photo blog for updates when I get into Estes or Lyons or wherever I get reception.

Hello from Colorado

Wednesday night it snowed off and on for 24 hours, we slept in the lodge for two nights so we wouldn't freeze in our tabins. It's beautiful and crazy here, today we had our first campers of the season. I love being a unit leader because my cousnelors can just concentrate on being good counselors, and I handle logistics, mostly. Anyway, this is my first time online since May 28th. I am planning on hiking into Rocky Mountain National Park for my 21st birthday. I am a camp counselor. A friend made a lascivios comment on AIM and I am honestly so not there right now. There is no time of the year less sexy than camp for me. I mean, I love it, I built a fire that burned so hot that my hand is 1st degree burnt. I have my wilderness first aid cert. I learned to drive conversion vans. And I have no cell phone reception. But, I continue to believe that it's valuable to be open, honest, and genuine in exchanges. I read another friends' blog today and I found it lacking in anything that was emotional or personal, and that frustrates me because I can't even hide those things. I am horrible at hiding my emotions and I know it. Our staff is 1/3 Colorado, 1/3 domestic, 1/3 international. Next week I go rock climbing and whitewater rafting with a lovely posh girl from Gloushteshire, UK. My fave roomie is an Aussie. I am challenged and happy right now. A little isolated, a little missing y'all, friends and fam, but excited and envigorated. Now if only I could stop huffing and puffing from the thin air.

America <3 Helvetica

Note to self: Even though you saw "50 Years Of Helvetica," you should still look at the Slate slideshow on it. When you aren't packing, doing laundry, etc. I leave for Colorado tomorrow morning. I will resist.

It's like the zoo, but quieter.

(Way to not make this post when it was originally written around 11 AM, Lindsay.) So, when my museum adventures on Wednesday went awry, I elected to go to the Natural History Museum. I don't know if it was the California or Los Angeles one or what, I've got to be honest. Also, I got five strikes in a row bowling yesterday. Thanks goes to Karen, my good luck charm. I'm Karen's mediocre luck charm, she got all spares in a row! Hopefully, Karen has learned that it is important to Google Alert yourself. I cannot even tell you how much more common blog talk is IRL ATM, for some reason I've been getting into it a lot, and perhaps that has to do with "meta" and things. Or it's just trendy. I guess I'mma go outside and wash the Prius after I eat some lunch. And now, for some random photos from the museum.

Got me a housewife!

A "housewife" is the term for the Civil War-era sewing kit that a soldier would carry on his person with thread, needles, a few extra buttons (view a real-live Confederate "housewife" here via Anderson Militaria). Allison Smith brought her "housewife" down from Brooklyn with her the first few weeks of class, and since I will soon be marching off--not to war, but to a sort of encampment-- I decided to make my own. Photographic evidence follows.

Dude.

How is it that blogs have the ability to hurt my feelings, when they're being published to the whole entire internet, not to me? In accordance with my not reading blogs that don't do anything positive for me, I'm just going to have to make those changes for now. Which doesn't matter much seeing as how I'm not going to get a ton of internet for the next ten weeks anyway. I'm thinking of heading to Geffen slash Museum of Contemporary Art here in Los Angeles to see the exhibits WACK: Art and the Feminist Revolution and Poetics of the Handmade, appropriately. I've never been to either museum, so I figure that will be fun, and maybe I'll go work at the Academy downtown again tomorrow with Randy and visit the LaBrea Tar Pits and LACMA while I'm down there. I've seen most of my friends down here, I'm getting pretty restless to move on and out to Colorado. It's super easy to be complacent and bored and drive everywhere. I had In-N-Out grilled cheese animal style, I've got to wash the clothes and socks I've worn while at home, I've got to pack a few things, but I'm kind of ready to go. Just a few more days.

Futuristic raincoat, ho!

In the future, we all wear asymmetrical-zip orange hoodies with taped seams and HellyTech (whatever that is) to protect us from the [acid] rain. You should probably be more prepared than you are. Today I visited the good ol' High School @ Moorpark College and Mrs. Simpson (who's married to a man named Sheldon and does salsa, LOVE IT!), and Judy Gould (who always did our professional development with us in high school). They got rid of the grody couch I spent many a before-and-after-school waiting for my ride on, but they have a real-live office now, and it was good to see all. Very wierd to explain that I will be graduating in a year. Also got to hang out with an old friend, Erick, who, if not in a committed relationship, I would surely pursue. This man has gone weeks without lovin'. This attractive, artistic, romantic guy. He's working on building his credit so he can go to CalArts, which is awesome except it costs more money. But, we mused on relationships and love and lust and art and things of natures multiple and complex. Also, he's a Freemason. Cool, man. Let me know how that works out. Also hung out with my aunt and uncle, stopped by my cousins' but let's be honest, she is way too high-strung, please remind me never ever to be like that with my children. Please let them get dirty, want for more toys because they don't have all of them, and see their cousins often and not in kid-centric modes. Not everything revolves around children, and the sooner they're made to realize it, the better. And I'm spent.

I do not believe in skin care regimens.

My sister did the Proactiv thing long ago, and somewhere I have a few bottles of them lying around. But you ask me to do anything consistently, and I will look at you like you're crazy. This was especially true for moisturizing and daily sunscreen, until a few weeks ago when one of my fave cheap-o brands (a la Jane and Topaz), Wet-N'-Wild, came out with a couple different lines of skin-care products (Fresh Face, and Fresh Face Acne). But, in this $5 product I found a light moisturizer and sunscreen (not sure how great a sunscreen it is, but if I'm putting it on it's better than nothing) that smells and feels good, and that's a start for someone who's so young that they don't have a regular skin-care habit. It's also not fruity or botanical, and I know a few gents who'd do well to take a little better care of the skin on their face. As for the whole 4-step line-up? If you have a face-wash, spot-treatment, and astringent you like already, or only need one of the above, don't freak out about getting the whole set. These are decent stand-alone products, and I'm reccommending wholeheartedly. Try Drugstore.com or your local Rite Aid, the CVS near me didn't have them.

Shelter animals

Mom and I visited my father down in Los Angeles County at the East L.A. shelter, which used to be a place where they housed dairy cattle, and was meant to be a temporary facility 15-20 years ago. The place is a mess, not room for anything, they've got 50 healthy rabbits with no place in the new facility (that they moved to today, and unpacked, and put animals in, and are open to the public tomorrow). Literally, my dad made decisions to have five animals destroyed while we were there. There were at least two big dogs to a run, five or six or seven little to a run. It was crowded, smelly, vast. And this is one of, what, like four shelters my dad works with in the city? Anyway, kind of crazy, but their new facility is beautiful, if lacking in kitty quarantine and places for the rabbits. It's definitley a job my mom couldn't do, though. She's too compassionate, too sensitive. Cares too much about each little creature; There's just not room for mom in a place like that, it'd break her heart every day to make those decisions, and my dad does it and can make those decisions pretty easily because somebody's got to.

THX1138 makes me want to shave my head.

June gloom really gets me down. It's these periods of fog through noontime that make you feel like it's never really morning, going straight from dawn to afternoon. Sometimes, it's not about figuring out your feelings. Sometimes, you need only open your eyes to what you're already doing, and go from there. But what do I know, ey?

I love the outdoors (and the consumerism that goes with it!)

REI trip included the purchase of three pairs of hiking socks of varying thicknesses, heights, and outdoorsy heathered grey colors, replacement of my old "port" colored Newport H2 Keens in favor of the new Keen Venice H2 (meaning water/land hybrid) in black. I'm gonna miss those big red Keens, but these definitley fit better, with no pinching across the widest part of my foot like the same size of the Newports. I also got a sort of ridiculous little Pelican case for my digital camera, which is pretty exciting because it means I can literally take it anywhere, also keep it dust- and water-free when spending most of my time outdoors. Also, I found a pair of Merrell mary-jane's for $40 and I got them to help balance out the wear and moisture on my Keen light hiking shoes. This way I can give them time to dry out, and avoid trench-rot. I can't even put into words how excited I am for camp. I've even been listening to the parenting and supervisory seminars-on-tape that our camp director put on CD's for us counselors, and am looking forward to employing some of the strategies mentioned by the speakers. And I'm looking forward to doing it again next summer after I graduate. I'm happy that I've figured out a way to keep the outdoors in my life despite being a full-time student in an urban environment. Maybe through leadership training and retreats outdoors intergrated into student affairs is one way to work it in the future. Heading up to UC Santa Barbara's hillel (Jewish student organization) to see the Stein family perform. Traffic going down the grade is bad apparently. Oh, so-cal.

On nostalgia and mail.

This past semester, I made a show of destroying old printed-out emailed love letters into a paper pulp. Yesterday, as a favor to a family at my synagogue, in which the youngest of the three boys has hoof-and-mouth and the father has leukemia, the mother had to move because their landlady lost the house in a divorce, so I was helping this stranger unpack her and her husbands' office. There were two huge 5-gallon bags of yellowed paper with blue and red spot colors, in packets--correspondence of her fathers' parents, dating from 1944 to 1947. It's sort of disappointing to think that that legacy won't be left to our childrens' generation, the sort of understanding that comes from reading old letters--because the 1's and 0's will be lost to the ethers. I spent last summer in Minnesota, and while I had access to a couple of staff computers with internet access (and, indeed, spent a good half hour every other day early in the mornings, before my girls were up, trying to keep tabs on the world), I ended up writing at least a post-card a day, a few letters a week. And to those who weren't at camp, my parents, my school friends, I think of those postcards and letters as pretty darn special. That being said, those Gees Bend stamps are awesome. The two-cent stamps that sully their image? Not so much. Somehow, I lost a pair of pants at school, so I'm on the hunt today for a new pair of jeans, and some SmartWool socks. I am trying to resist getting a $70 Helly Hanson raincoat from Sierra Trading Post, but I think I'm losing the battle. Is it sad that all I seem to do in southern California is shop?

Cars and baths

Two things I don't realize I missed quite so much until I have them back. Boba tea, trips to the Valley, use of the Prius and its' sweet, sweet XM radio. Also, I purchased sandals at Nordstrom Rack that has built in bottle-openers. Why do I need one in each shoe? Great question. I just don't have a lot of prolific blogging to do right now. I'm really greatful to be around so many people who love me, to be able to help myself and others. It's kind of silly, but I do miss Baltimore allready, and my friends there. I wonder if I'll ever be one of those people that can close a book when it's done, move on to the next, and not worry about whether or not they got all they could have out of the first. And then, of course, I get real-live grown-up opportunities to hang out with very charming, intellegent, witty company, and part of me wonders, what did I do to get invited to the cool-kid table? And, once there, will I be as mature as I am capable, or will I live up to my own capacity for immaturity? By the way, I am WOEfully behind on my RSS feeds, so I apologize for the lack of links as of late.

Breif update

I know, I know, a huge blogging slacker. A huge slacker in general, actually, seeing as how my mother has been the most amazing person helping me pack up my apartment and put it into storage for the next 14 weeks. I've been trying to get in a few more hours working the desk at school, and I (stupidly) decided to work the desk from 9 am to noon, so I finished filling out about $500 worth of timesheets and am sorting through hundreds of pages of documents from high school through the present. Really hoping that all of my remaining posessions fit in the minivan my mother rented, because commencement for MICA is on Monday afternoon, and there is simply not enough parking in Bolton Hill to make a second trip something doable. All the rooms in the 'Hoff are unlocked for contractors coming in and doing work through the summer to create higher capacity bedrooms, so my mom and I went to the apartment across the hall, where we measured my windows for curtains and marveled at the paint everywhere. Thank goodness it will look brand-new by August. I should really start tackling these papers. Sigh. OH! I found my digital camera and other bits of technology, which I thought I'd lost in the move. I cannot, however, find my rain slicker, which seems like it's important for this time of year in Estes, CO. Ahh well.

"You sound like you're making a speech"

How does one take a comment like that? Am I too thought-out, too calculated? Am I being political and arguing semantics at this point, just to have something to fight about? Or, have I spent so much time mired in self-reflection and my own myopic viewpoint that I really do have things figured out as well as may happen, and now I talk talk talk instead of making things happen? I also think I probably have said what she said to me to my ex, and I don't recall when or why or what I meant by it, so whole lot of good THAT does me, fallable memory! Or, does it seem like I'm making a speech in that I'm talking a lot but not saying a whole lot about how I feel or how I've come to the conclusions I've come to? Was our exchange full of talking but not really about sharing? Am I gypping myself, my friends, my family of insight and intimacy in favor of the sort of arms-length sharing that always gets in my nerves in others? Too long without blogging, where do I pick you up again, little non-journal?

Awwwwwk-waaaaaaard

Nothin' more uncomfortable than sitting in a computer lab next to a colleague who's iChatting with her boyfriend. Seriously, they're just looking at eachother and IM-ing. Continuing to move out of my studio, blah. Not very fun. Then I've got to pack up my apartment, and figure out what I'm going to want for Estes, Colorado. I gotta say, I'm pretty darn excited about camp. Glad I've got supplies from last summer, it'll make things a lot easier (though I should invest in a new sleeping bag, since mine is real bulky.)

Aye!

I got an "A" for this blog and the exploration in blogging as memoir that went along with it this past semester. I mean, seriously, I got dooced. Darn thorough, that exploration. It was a pleasure, Mikita!

Practice in self-reflection

Being an RA, there was a decent amount of emphasis on self-reflection. Even the High School @ Moorpark College, where I spent my senior year of high school, with it's emphasis on career exploration through ethnographic study and doing all those lovely Myers-Briggs and career assessment inventories, placed a vast emphasis on self-reflection, understanding functions of an individual within society or a given workplace culture. I ha an interview today with Meadow Mountain Ranch for a Unit Leader - Outdoor Specialist position. The interest in this job, and jobs like this, are manyfold. After all, I was nature girl till art school. I was going into fisheries and wildlife management, probably at University of Maryland, College Park. I love ropes courses, rock climbing, being outside, getting dirty, animals and plants, ecology. I am a much different person when I get enough sunshine. Anyway, I talked in my interview today with Buster from Meadow Mountain about lots of things, but some things I heard were that they're a drama-free camp, that they teach you in training to help girls learn to not interact with relational agression, try to break up cliques. Apparently the other Unit Leaders are really open and excited about new co's, and that while I may experience feeling like the new girl come comin' to camp, I feel like I'm not gonna feel that way come the end. Talking about how I'd had to resign from my job earlier, I also was able to talk about not going back to Kamaji, and how it wasn't a good fit, and maybe MICA's not the best fit for me, maybe MICA's ResLife program isn't the best, and when I graduate as much as I might really really love to come back to my alma mater, there may not be an appropriate position, much less an open one, for me. Right, so, Buster complimented me on my self-reflection skills, which a lot of people don't have, she said, and I immediately thought of one of the Student Affairs blogs I read in which they talked about the emphasis on that at their grad program. Anyway, I got offered a position in Estes, Colorado, up near Boulder an Estes National Park, and should have another decent line of work experience to add to my Student Affairs resume, plus a reference or two. Pay's paltry, but the experience should be pretty priceless. You don't always get the jobs you want in life. You apply, pitch yourself as fulfilling each and every qualification for the position, hobnob, use the professional watermarked resume paper. Sometimes, the place offering the job and the person looking to get hired just don't match up right, and that doesn't mean you lose , or that you are a worthless human being. Just means you didn't get the job.

Boob-sweat and all

Such a lack of MySpace girl am I that I only just now got around to changing my status back to single. I've found so many things to be cynical about in the past few days, and I think that shows how tired I am. It's been at times a truly difficult school year, but I'm just a breath away from senior thesis and graduation, then it's grad school for me. I am feeling kind of in need of some Love right now. Most of the time I'm so busy with classes and schoolwork that lonesomeness gets lost in the jumble, which is fantastic. But I really miss my family (who aren't completely inaffectionate), and I miss how wherever J's arms were around me there I was home. Those times are long gone, both being around my parents and being in that relationship, and while home is more and more wherever I am, there's always something missing. Old habits die hard, inside conflicts brew and my lips stay reasonably sealed until the problem makes sense of itself.

Dear G4:

Please stop objectifying women and fetishizing pretty asian girls dressed in cosplay. It's not nice. Also, I think your geek fantasies clips are pretty great, but it's ALWAYS chicks. There are gay geeks out there. There are girl geeks out there. And maybe if G4 recognized that (by getting rid of COPS, perhaps?) then I would watch it more than an hour or two at a time. But no, then the Jamie Kennedy experience comes on, or COPS, or sometimes Braniacs which is far too british for me early Sunday mornings. Lindsay

Uhm...thanks?

Guy from OKCupid who keeps IMing me even though I put forth no effort to cover up the fact that I'm not interested via AIM: Hahaha I'm in the bathroom taking a dump and one of my managers goes "you need to start getting up at 6am and handling that" aahhah Congratulations, you have been blocked. Update on Friday night talking with Neil Meyerhoff, who's chairmain of the board of trustees at MICA, and of course my New York City trip yesterday, with reviews of 50 Years of Helvetica, Global Feminisms, Radical Lace and Subversive Knitting, and Comic Abstraction: Image Making, Image Breaking.

Brooklyn

Spending all day today in Brooklyn with Alison Smith and the rest of the girls from fabric of consciousness. I should probably hop in the shower. Peace!

So glad it's over!

I don't think I've ever been so nervous presenting in a class before. For my Body Discourses class, I'm talking about origins of gender as one-gender (male, pre-Enlightenment) to two-gender (male as normal, female as other), and the morph that is sort of occuring wherein men and women can engage in behaviors atypical those genders due to the liberalism of society, and science, and technology. Seriously, I could pass out and cry I'm so relieved it's over. I mean, it's not, but at least I don't have to share these really intimate things anymore. People just aren't that easy to trust.

Fauxhawking it

Newest inflatable, with this semesters' printed pieces incorporated, rag rug (not finished, but that's how big it will be for the final critique). Last night I had a good time bonding with the roomies, but there was too much talk and not enough homework.

Delicious

Okay, I'm a little addicted. I generally hate energy drinks, I used to drink Vault during electronic media and culture all-nighters freshman year. I've taken to blending half a can of green tea Enviga with a few ice cubes and some frozen berries to get in a couple more hours of work at the end of the day. My only wish is that I could get a flat at Costco instead of $1.49 each at Rite Aid.

Cotton and cashmere and linen, oh my!

So, I've been doing a lot of art with all the hair I hacked off, twice, in vindictive impulse and mourning. It's not that morbid, not that depressing, not that bad. I'm getting to work through things by making, and it's really cathartic and organic. In addition, Alison Smith may use some of my atomic print from sophomore year to make a housewife (a civil war sewing kit soldiers carried with them) for her Notion Nanny project. I think I'm going to try to make it up to Berkeley to see her piece there, I'm super sad that I only get one more class under her tutelage! But, I've learned a lot and had a ton of fun and been a hearty contributor in the class (well, that's most classes). Did I mention that my rag rugging is going amazingly? I want to ditch all my other projects and rag rug for the rest of my life. If you ever do intend to do braided rag work, let me know, I'll give you some tips along the way. I don't think I've ever felt as pleased with my studio work at the end of semesters. More on these things later, just wanted to share the latest with y'all.

Can't sleep,clowns will eat me

Antidote: ginger snaps, warm milk, and reading student affairs professional association guidelines for graduate schools. Snore.

Sordid student affair

A recent comment from my friend Susan (who blogs about oxytocin at hugthemonkey.com) sort of is spurring the following entry (original post here). Susan, you asked me why student affairs and not art? First, I'm going to say that I have a friend who graduated from MICA, who got a Fulbright to study textiles in India, came back to MICA to finish the masters in arts for teaching program and served as a graduate assistant to ResLife, and then decided she didn't want to finish MAT, and she became the assistant residential coordinator. Now she's leaving MICA to persue textile design, but she really contributed as a staff member because she went to MICA as an undergrad, and she understood the needs of the students and student-staff so much better than non-MICA-grad staff. The last two years have added a lot of items to her resume, given her tons of responsibility and leadership experience, put her in a position to effect students at her alma mater, and been an important bridge between art students and the professional staff. She's pretty much my hero. She didn't do the whole reslife thing as an RA when she went to MICA, she had the student experience, and now she's had the professional experience. That being said, I want to work more than two years she's spent in student affairs. I don't know that I have enough that I want to say with my art right now, or enough that I want to share, to be an artist full-time. I'm also seeing the possibility that I'll live long enough to have two full careers. After all, student affairs does have a really high burnout rate. In terms of money and lifestyle, student affairs, I feel like, is something I could do for a while, since I love dorms and college students and campus life, but not neccessarily forever. I don't know that student affairs is all that lucrative, though I know somewhere is always hiring due to aforementioned high burnout. Right now, this is my plan: Summer 2007, get lifeguard, cpr, first aid certification May 2008, graduate with BFA in Fibers, concentration in experimental fashion Apply for Marburg and Fullbrghts (grants for artists to study abroad) Summer 2008, spend summer outside being outdoorsy, camping, canoe trips, etc. at a summer camp. Though this position doesn't relate directly to student affairs, but it's leadership experience in a role with a lot of responsibility, and is potentially a source of some amazing references. Fall 2008, look for jobs in student affairs like hall director, assistant hall director, especially at institutions that work with student affairs graduate students. While I do have a certain fear of failure as a designer or fine artist, I know that I'm good at that, I know that I'd be a pretty good art teacher, and would love to teach high school students in visual/performing arts programs like the one I was at for the first two years of high school. Those teachers changed the course of my life from fisheries/wildlife management to getting a BFA in art school. I became obsessed with the idea of art school, and my parents have been instrumental in making this dream come true for me. It has been a wild, crazy experience, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's also been brought to my attention that I'm stubborn. I come from a long line of stubborn individuals. And while a certain part of me wants to work in student affairs to prove to myself that I can do it, to get over what happened this year, that's absolutely not the driving force. The driving force is that I want to help students the way that RA's and Area Coordinators and Residential Coordinators I know helped me. And I have a passion for it that surpasses that I have for creating art. There were times this year where it was so easy for me to choose to prioritize programming and residents over my own studio art work. Funnily enough, this occured to me in January-February, when J broke up with me and I was looking for all the other things that meant something to me in my life. And I found my residents as bringing me that joy and becoming that community I was looking for. In my mind, I have little interest in working at a not-art school, or in a residence hall for science and physical education students. There are a few dozen high-tier academy art schools in the United States. Working at an art school means I'm still in that community of artists. A lot of time, professional staff get to take a class or two for free or a reduced cost per semester (which does double duty of being not just The Man on campus, you're also someone's classmate). There are art graduate programs at these schools, which is something I'd have to think about to teach art at the college level. Were my parents glad to hear that I was thinking about going into student affairs? Of course. It's got benefits, which are the holy grail for those who've graduated with a bachelors in fine arts. But for so many reasons it makes sense, and feels like the right place for me. I've got interests in multicultural and ethnic affairs, issues of diversity and inclusion on campus, I feel passionately about disability services, I love programming and student activities, and of course have a high interest in the communities of artists living together that on-campus housing represents. And I see little reason that I can't develop a studio practice of my own and continue making art in the context of working in student affairs for 8 to 10 years. I'm also willing to forgive myself for screwing up the RCA thing this year. It's not the end of my involvement here, and I learned a lot, even if it was the hard way.

Save the drama for your mama.

The mind boggles. Hung out with J last night since he was on-duty in my building and got massive amounts of Asian Taste, watched Harry Potter and G4. I spent all day in the studio yesterday and didn't get a TON done, today I'm working on all of my papers and doing some rag rugging. I know that he hasn't been the most reliable friend, but I can trust him, and he can trust me, so here we are doing a dance of a different sort than this time last year, figuring out how to be friends. I'm finally getting used to the space, to filling my own life and days. I mean, I've been working towards it for a while. So, I'm writing a paper as my final for Blog As Memoir. Six to seven pages, I might even typeset it as an accordion book which would be part of a blogging meetup pin of some sort...it would certainly be awesome to do a business card, too. But sort of peripherary to the paper. Right. The paper I've got to write. Yes.

Maybe it's the spring...

Or the profoundly deep slumber I found myself enjoying last night...either way, I am feeling a little bit more comfortable today with where I am, both in terms of my final projects and thinking about the next few years of my life. Last night I did a ton of job hunting for the return to Thousand Oaks, where my parents live and where I will reside this summer. And you know what? Just like last summer, I can't find anything I'm enthused about. But I'll take an art history class or two online, work on my thesis work, do stained glass with my dad, maybe volunteer at some places, and otherwise prepare for the road ahead. It's taking me a while to accept the repercussions of what happened this semester, but I think I need some more time, age, and experience, and I'll be just fine. This morning I went to Lexington Market, took in what I'm going to tenatively call spring in Baltimore, and enjoyed being by myself. Haven't felt like that in a while. It's a pretty good feeling.

Oh man

Nose to the grindstone, work work work, make make make, do do do. Is it sad I don't want to walk the block to sleep in my own bed? Oh comfy comfy futon.

New study by Pew Internet

Pew Internet just published a new report (by Amanda Lenhart and Mary Madden) that discusses the ways in which teens organize what information is on their various profiles on social networking sites to keep privy information far from the prying eyes of parents, teachers. Teens, Privacy and Online Social Networks: How teens manage their online identities and personal information in the age of MySpace As I continue my readings on blogging I can't even fathom how I let myself post indiscreetly so long (two months?) ago. While one can post impulsively, it takes one little click to share your most private thoughts, and when exposed to public space they can have considerable power that sort of contradicts the ease of sharing.

Just can't get ahead

I applied for studio manager for the on-campus residential studio spaces available for weekly check-out to students, and from what I understand the assistant residential coordinator also encouraged one of my former residents to apply, at least. I'm frustrated because I really feel like I need a continued relationship with ResLife, above and beyond Desk Assistant Trainer and Desk Assistant. The reason that I need that continued relationship is that I'm planning on doing Student Affairs for a career. I know my former resident, she just got hired to the DA staff, and I was actually very surprised she didn't make RA this year. I've got no doubt she could do the job, but she could also do it a year or two from now. And part of me is really excited that she gets this opportunity, and part of me really just wants the job -_-. There just aren't enough students finding leadership opportunities on-campus; There are lots of self-created ones, like the ones that come with working with the student voice association or creating a club, but there are always a lot more applicants for Orientation Leader and Residential Community Advisor positions than there are positions. I have a feeling in about two years I'll look back with a lot more perspective, but right now I'm just sort of aggrivated. With the limited time I have at MICA, I'm just trying to make the most of possible experiences outside of my studio work, because I feel like those will make a big difference when it comes to applying to graduate programs in student affairs. And I miss being as active on-campus as I was as an RA and DA and member of SVA... On the plus side, I did get a nomination for student leader for the second year in a row, and my Paschal Seder is in the runnng for program of the year (I think we can pull honorable mention, but I'm not sure all of the competition). Also, can you imagine the student affairs nightmare that VA Tech represents? Tough times for those residential coordinators, hall directors, and RA's.

I <3 Art School

Fall 2007 Classes COURSE NAME DAY/TIME PLACE INSTRUCTOR FB 438 Multi Media Event I: Exp. Fash M 4:00P to 10:00P S 205 Rogic,Zvezdana Open to juniors and seniors from all majors, this class critically engages formal, functional and social concerns in the conception and development of a body of work based on the garment, as well as the presentation of the same in a culminating multi-media event. Students are encouraged to share skills and integrate graphics, photography, and a variety of digital and physical media in both the creation and presentation of the work. All majors are welcome in this course required for students in the Experimental Fashion Concetration. Pre: FF 102 and FF 199. AH 428 Way of Tea T 1:00P to 3:45P BR 215 Elkinton,Jane A course based in both the theoretical and the hands-on aspects of the Japanese Tea ceremony. It is cross-disciplinary, including museum visits, historical background, aesthetic theories; and hands-on participation in making: tea bowl, purifying vloth, calligraphy and design for tea space; and serving as tea host and guest, using traditional gestures. Japanese Chanoyu or Chado, the Way of Tea, is a participatory performance art, a discipline, and a meditiaiton. The experience of Tea is designed to involve and awaken all six senses: seeing, tasting, touching, smelling, hearing, consciousness. Prerequisite: AH 100 and 201 AH 472 Women in the History of Art W 9:30A to 12:15P B 110 King-Hammond,Leslie Offered occasionally. This course explores the role women have played in the visual arts as artists, patrons, critics, and historians. FB 400 Senior Fiber Independent I Th 9:00A to 3:00P S 201 Shepard,Piper Couwenberg,Annet Students develop a coherent body of work completed during the senior year for final presentation to a jury selected from sculptural studies faculty. Periodic critiques to discuss progress, content, and process are conducted by faculty and invited critics. Open to fiber majors only. FB 416 Fashioning Cult/ Readr Clothng F 9:00A to 3:00P S 201 Cobb,Kelly Ann Offered occasionally. This course addresses the influences, affinities and relationships of fashion and the visual arts. Issues covered in this studio/seminar class will be contempoaries fashion�s relationship with the high and low divide in art, popular and visual culture. In addition this course will address questions of the historical significance of cloth, clothing and culture for the discourse of fashion. This class will be structured around individual derived projects based on research relating to the student�s artistic concerns. Readings, discussions and research will enhance the students� skills in interpreting and articulating their understanding of art, fashion, clothing and culture. Pre requisite: Intro to Fiber and one FB 300 level course Enrollment preference: students concentrating in Experimental Fashion

Passive-agressive blogging.

Here's how I feel about roommates who blog passive-agressively: Blogging may relieve anger, but is no substitution for communication. At worst, passive agressive blogs about other people or intended to hurt or insight rection is pretty cowardly, and also seems to me relatively ineffective. You want me to do dishes more. Okay. So, you could blog about it, then let it stew till you want to have a roommate agreement meeting (when your problem is only with me). I just can't feel that bad because I am not a horrible apartment-mate. Excuse me if I try to pretend like we're friends, and not just all four of us stuck together because of my own cry-for-help passive-aggressive blogging that got me fired. I'm a pretty genuine person...I don't dislike people unless I have a great reason to do so. What's your great reason? I just was hoping for a little more openness.

An open letter to Averatec:

To whom it may concern, I purchased my Averactec C3500 convertible tablet pc from costco in July 2004 for a cost of $1,350. The thought was that a tablet pc would be great for art school, would allow me to go paperless. This laptop was gonna get me through 4 years of college. I know that was expecting a lot, but it was a hope. But, the digitizer sucked. The batttery life of the 5 lb unit was a mere hour or two, at best (now the meter doesn't even read properly). All the XP Tabled edition software that came with it was bundled with all the other Averatec install features, so doing a clean/repair install of windows is impossible without reformatting. At about 1.5 years old, the laptop's wires to the screen deteriorated, making my display strobe in bizzare ways, making doing graphic/web design pretty difficult without displeasure to the eyes. My C3500 runs very hot at the back left corner. It has a decent processor, 80 gigs is plenty for me in terms of hard drive, but it's case is cracked (I had it serviced a while ago and they replaced it, but it's cracked again). All the little rubber bumpers on the screen, the bottom, came off constantly. The serial number rubbed off the bottom in the first six months. The product was good, but not great. So, I'm switching to an iBook or MacBook sometime this summer. I don't know that I'd buy from this Hong Kong maufacturer again (at least not a convertible). Really kind of unfortunate, because a convertible tablet laptop is quite the way to pick up the geeky guys. Sincerely, L

Few are the things that cannot be made better by being battered and fried.

So, Brett Dennen is playing at the Recher Theatre on May 11th at 9pm with Animal Liberation Orchestra (who I don't know anything about) in Towson, but I was wondering if anyone was interested in joining me. Last concert I went to was Rhett Miller at Sonar with my big bro (excluding all the IlyAimy concerts with J & company). Also, why do I have a killer sweet-tooth today? I've been reading my new Nigella Lawson book "How to be a Domestic Goddess," but I don't have a ton of ingredients on-hand, so for now it's just looking. The past couple days I was just weepy. People who know me know that crying is something I do when I feel overwhelmed, it's not neccessarily indicator that OH G-D SOMETHING IS WRONG MAKE HER STOP CRYING! Seeing my dad made me happy, so I wept. Passed by places that reminded me of my ex (who, keep in mind, I'm on okay terms with), and I shed a couple tears. Said goodbye to my dad and cried. My New York Times didn't get delivered and that made me cry. I'm not even sad! I'm thinking a lot about grad school right now, since i know it's just around the corner at this point (if I choose to go straight out of art school). One thing that being dooced is affecting is job applications; that is, I have to explain why I was forced to resign as an RA, and that's a hard thing when it still seems unjustified, unfair, and leaves me feeling confused. I feel like I was so dedicated to the job, to my residents. And then I think of the course of events that transpired, and how I felt like I got tattled on, instead of someone coming to me with their concerns. I understand why they did it, I just think it was real low. I'm glad for these experiences in ResLife because I know they will make me a better residential coordinator or house director one day.

Nine PM is my bedtime.

I've been pretty exhausted most of the day for no good reason, but I've been plugging along all the same on all of these ridiculous theory readings for my Body Discourses class. I really have to start in on my papers, but my dad's visiting, and we ate a big dinner, and all I really want to do right now is go to bed (but I won't because I'm letting him stay in mine.) So, for all that I'm not super-present blogwise, know that it's because I'm working on final papers, reading body discourse and blog theory books and articles, reading the Critique Handbook, and figuring out what in the hell I'm doing for two of my three final projects. It's not Typography that evades me (I'm typesetting a haggadah), it's the simple freedoms of my independent study and Alison Smith's Fabric of Consciousness class. I've been working on my commemorative bedsheet, and I think I may quilt words upon it a la Tracey Emin, finish it as a quilt, maybe even keep working on it so it becomes, literally, a quilt of the loves in my life. Or not, I'm not sure. I'm also still working on my rag rug, and I'm working on this hot little piece that is pretty fun and funny, but I've really got to delve into the Critique Handbook and sketchbook illustrations of what this thing's going to look like, what it's going to communicate, and (you know) figure out what I want to say.

Lips like pillows

Eight days ago, all I had to eat before my paschal seder was a mango. A sweet, juicy, delicious mango. As per usual, I peel the mango very carefully before I eat it. You see, gentle readers, I am allergic to the enzymes in the skin (we think). Thus, a complex and exhaustive carving process is utilized before I can actually consume the object of my desire. Unfortunately, I was multi-tasking, putting together a supplement for our haggadah, and couldn't wash my hands, the knife, the mango, nearly as often as is optimal. So, even eight days later, I am suffering from the symptoms of my bizzarely-specific allergy. The first couple days my lips were slightly tingly. As the week wore on, they became itchier. Now they are dry, swollen, cracked, numb, pale, flaky, and bee-stung. Last night I carved a fresh pineapple, and ate despite the acidic burn the tropical fruit affected on my lips. I never was particularly great at self-denial; I should probably lay off the fresh mango from now on. But what fun would that be?

Heart of Glass

Sarah Hepola on her lust for NPR This American Life personality Ira Glass (via Nerve.com personal essays.) Delicious.

Whew....

What a week... I leave you with the sunset over Bolton Hill and Brown Memorial Church, where I'm taking my dad on Sunday to look at the Tiffany stained glass windows (including the two largest in the world) at 12:30. Can't wait! They're breathtaking, and since my dad taught me to do stained glass, I'm super excited to show him these windows, less than a block away.

This just in: puppies are cute.

The best part of not having a summer job is that I'm going to get to spend the summer getting to know my parents' new chocolate lab, Moky. She's adorable.

I little crazyhttp://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Okay, I admit it, I've spent a lot of money in the past week or two. But I swear it was on worthwhile things! I got new silkscreens on VictoryFactory.com, beautiful aluminium ones that won't tire me out as much as I print yards and yards of fabric. I also got Alison Smith's The Muster book, Dispatches from Blogistan by Suzanne Stefanac, and Clear Blogging by Bob Walsh (which is proving a quick read). What's the point of having your door closed during a meeting if you're going to speak so loudly that you can be heard through the door?

When favorite authors converge

The lovely sex columnists Em and Lo (nymag articles by Em & Lo) of Nerve.com's "The Big Bang", Nerve.com, and emandlo.com fame, and Will Doig (who wrote that article on ReadyMade mag as LTR porn that I told you all about) were a few of the writers in the New York Magazine article "The Urban Etiquette Guide." Sure, the guide was originally published June 26, 2006, but it's new to me. (Whew, that was a lot of hyperlinks.) The Urban Etiquette Guide covers such manners topics as electronics, public transport, love & sex (of course), friends & family, dining, and the Interweb/social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, not to mention online communities like Deviant Art, LiveJournal, and Blogger. A pleasant read, which makes me want to live in new york.

I'm in a glass case of emotion

Despite the fact that I didn't pull an all-nighter last night, I am still one cranky, teary-eyed girl today. When I'm well-rested, I generally maintain my composure all day before drifting off, worilessly, to sleep. When I am deprived of eight hours of shut-eye? I'm a terror. Not only that but relatively completely unproductive. Right now, I find myself, as so often occurs in these semesters here at MICA, starting to fall behind in a class or two. I don't do an assignment, it makes me depressed, I'm depressed so I turn hypochondriatic, I miss more classes, sleep a lot, get farther behind, ad infinitum. This will not do. I had a poor critique today in my first class, am woefully behind in type and am prepared to kiss ass to try and get caught up but couldn't POSSIBLY do any work right this second (because I'm too busy crying). Isn't there someone else who's problems I can worry about instead of my own? Why can't I just be like Tracey Emin and put all my shit out there in my artwork for catharsis? Why do I choose repeat pattern--structured, unemotional repeat pattern--as a way to create imagery? Why don't I rend fabric till my hands bleed? I don't neccessarily know that art is that cathartic for me. Actually, I don't know that anything is really that cathartic for me; I'm a high-strung person.

Ain't got style

Quick recap

Passover seder on Friday was great. Diversity meeting right beforehand was better (I was sitting mere feet away from Fred Lazarus the IV, who, when we went around the table and introduced ourselves, he, the second person to speak, said "Hello, I'm Fred Lazarus, president" and then I peed a little). I spent all this time putting together a haggadah then we found literally hundreds mere minutes before I left for said seder, so that was sort of aggrivating. I've eaten four matzo pizzas today. I really enjoyed "Sorority Boys" way more than one should. Am having trouble finding summer employment, boooooooo. Also didn't make Orientation Leader. If I don't get Studio Manager I'm just going to be any old student, TA, and DA next year. I was really looking forward to being able to add some student activities experience to a resume for student affairs grad school. I ate a mango on friday and now my lips pay the price, by becoming inflamed and beestung-looking and itchy. Rag rug or die!

Shabbat Shalom, mo-fo.

Will Doig wrote a great article for online mag Nerve.com on Readymade Magazine called "Assembly Desired: How ReadyMade Magazine is essentially long-term-relationship porn." And it's my skin mag of choice, at the moment. So what are you waiting for? Click here to read it. ReadyMade is a home-design periodical produced in Berkeley, California. It features ideas for things you can build from scratch for your home — everything from custom couches to coatracks made from empty Tide bottles. Its aesthetic leans breezy West coast quirk; non-sequitur T-shirts and Pumas abound. And I fit squarely in its target demographic: twenty-something urbanite with apartment-vanity issues. But I'm also part of another market that I don't think ReadyMade even knows it has cornered: the single and lovelorn. Subconsciously or not, they've created a magazine that is essentially long-term-relationship porn.

More excited than I should be about Diversity and Inclusion.

This past fall, MICA did a massive survey of its undergraduate students and their feelings on gender equality, racism, classism, feelings towards students with visible and invisible disabilities, etc. Basically, we find that in a "chocolate city" like Baltimore, it's the students, staff, and faculty of color that feel a lot of isolation and lack of support on-campus. It also doesn't help that nobody in upper management is a person of color, the highest-ranking person being the head of the office of Multi-Cultural and International Student affairs (who has always been completely useless and ignorant of working with Oy!, but whateva), and she actually has been given less power and responsibility over the past couple of years, for a multitude of factors. My personal sort of arguement is that disability services at MICA suck. The woman who's in charge is qualified on paper, with a doctorate and sensitivity to the artist. But, she is disorganized, has sporradic hours due to the fact that she's legally blind, and has also breached my American with Disabilities Act rights for confiedentiality, putting my name on another students' letters requesting accomidation. The person in charge of the Learning Resource Center needs to be made part of orientation so that people have a face and an idea of 1) what differs about disability services in college 2) how to get evaluated for a disability without spending thousands of dollars and 3) what the LRC can do for you. But, for some reason, this isn't part of what the LRC does. It's got strange hours, I think she just got a grad student helped who's more organized, but at this point, I know even freshmen who, frustrated by the lack of competence and user-friendlyness of the LRC, have decided to muddle through one of the heaviest undergraduate workloads in the country without the disability services they are legally entitled to. Not to mention MICA does NOTHING to help a college student transition to being a person with a disability in the "real world." My roommate of the past two years, Rose*, has cerebral palsy and limited motor function in her legs, gets around on crutches or a scooter. Somehow, Rose has made it through MICA without learning to use public mobility transportation in the city, without learning how to carry her things to, say, a job interview in the suburbs. And I'm not saying it's 100% the LRC's fault, because it's certainly a matter of personal drive as well, but it didn't encourage her to develop as an adult or become more independent. And if you have students graduating from your school who don't have the complex set of skills and knowledge that let them navigate the "real world," haven't you failed them? You get their money, but reduce their chances that they'll be successful and independent, and MICA -really- needs some students with disabilities to grace it's pages, it needs successful students that result from a successful program, and right now MICA's program barely fulfills legal requirements of the ADA. So, off the pulpit/bima, this friday a bunch of students have a meeting with the fabulous bow-tied Fred Lazarus, president of our noble institution, as well as other members of student affairs staff, to talk about what we're gonna do about these issues now that we have some quantitative and qualitative information. Sure, I may not have a 3.5 GPA to show for my college education, but I've done some much more important and lasting work at MICA that will have a lasting impact, and I'm proud as hell of that. It's a lot harder to decide you're going to be part of the community instead of staying in your studio and working throughout art school, and I'm glad I've made the decision I've made. Now, what do I wear for a meeting with The President?

Lotsa Matzo

Hush, gentle readers, and ignore the lack of posts in the pre-seder rush... Let me pacify you with woven and knit fabrics printed with the image of the bread of affliction... Elle

Retrospective.

As I wait for my lasagna with matzo to cook in the oven before heading off to a critique in the class I TA for, I can't help but think of the past. I think of the past almost as much as I think of the future, and certainly more than I live in the present. Anyway, when J broke up with me, I felt like it was the end of my world. Then I lost my job, and then I -really- felt like it was the end of the world. Now, I felt like the world had ended, yet here I stand, enjoying the cherry blossoms and pleasant spring weather, and the world continues. It's funny, because I'd never thought of breaking up with someone or losing a jobas the end of the world before. My visions of the apocalypse included zombies, global warming, nuclear war, various and sundry medical outbreaks. But those are simpler, in certain ways, with obvious enemies and tactics. What tactics does one use to reconstruct their emotional life? I'm really not as depressed as this post may let on, it's just that I'm having a hard time focusing on anything other than the holiday, you know? Last night was interesting. My sleep schedule's been messed up, I've been taking lots of naps but not staying up late, and there were several points last night where I didn't know whether I was awake or dreaming, and even in retrospect I'm not sure if I was asleep or not. Bizarre.

Mysteries of my adult life.

The following is a list of information and knowledge that continues to evade me, despite my grown-up body and highly-educated mind. Why do men smell simultaneously gross and fascinating, and why do they seem utterly unaware of this fact? My father, expecially. As an adolescent, I constantly purloined my fathers' short-sleeved work shirts, but ultimately returned them due to the comforting, but all-pervasive, musky odor. Why do I hoard things like papers, books, fabric? Why do I still try on boys' last-names like a middle-school girl? What makes the kitchen so comforting? When I have a house of my own, I will make the kitchen open to the living room, like in the second house I lived in. For me, the kitchen is where it all happens. At all the best parties I've been to, there were constant replenishings, new things being brought out, etc. Why not make them the same place? Lots of wonderings the past few days, lots of work being done, lots of printing. Right now, I'm working on pot-holders that look like matzo, and am going to make an apron that says "My Knish Is Delish" and big ol' matzo-looking quilted pockets. It's my personal armor for next monday's crit, and I'll probably cook something K for P for my classmates, since a huge part of my personal armor ("Oh please don't hate me") is feeding people. Hag sameach! Happy passover!